Song of the week : Stand Still and Let God Move

During one of my first church services with the boyfriend two young girls got up and sang a song that I don't recall ever hearing before that point. Immediately it struck me, as I often find myself hurrying my life up, trying to make my own decisions and not waiting on God. Ever since then I've found myself singing this song a lot, though I still don't know all the words. Tonight it was sang again and I knew I just had to share it....This version is (in my opinion) the best on youtube, though not as good as the two young girls from Eastern KY that I first heard it from.

God Gave Me Him.....

God Gave Me Him…..

*I’m not often one to be all lovey dovey and mushy, but this post will be.. so if you’re the type to roll your eyes over stuff like this, then go ahead and  skip to the next post J *

Blake Shelton sings a song titled “God Gave me You” and most every time I hear it lately I mentally change the word “you” to “him”… I truly believe this. You see, just a few months before I met my boyfriend I began praying that God would send me someone who was right for me. After a bad marriage and years of dealing with my emotions and dates that lead nowhere I finally stopped leaving it up to myself and gave God the reigns. On February 29, 2012 (Leap Year Day)  I accepted a friend request on Facebook from a guy I’d already been Facebook friends with before.  Two days later we had a several hour long chat on Facebook in which the conversation flowed so well that we exchanged numbers that night and I impulsively asked him to come meet me the next day.

 Our first “date” was at an Odyssey of the Mind competition in which I had a team competing. I was stressed, I was random, I was definitely not at my best after being with Middle School children all day long and yet he wasn’t deterred. We grabbed a quick bite to eat before I had to go to my weekend job and he again overlooked the fact that I had a mop and a broom shoved in between the two front seats and that I had trouble looking at him that day(a fact that he pointed out to me not long ago). 

The next night (a Sunday), after I’d spent all day working on a massive Masters Degree assignment he convinced me to meet him for ice cream (ok, so it didn’t really take much convincing)… I showed up in sweats, and barely any make up on. I remember being concerned that he’d lose interest once he saw me like that, but I also didn’t have the time to waste to ‘pretty myself up’.  Longest ice cream date ever and one I didn’t want to end. That Monday we met for dinner and went to watch a Regional High School Basketball championship game. Not the fanciest or most romantic idea, right? Yet this was the night I began to realize that there could be something more than just a few dates. He galloped with me in the parking lot on the way in, danced in our seats during the game, joked with me about the cheerleaders I was so intently watching, didn’t look at me like I was crazy when I started doing a mix between skipping and walking on the way to his truck, and sang along with me as I belted out song after song that played on the radio (and I’m a terrible singer!). After he took me back to my car we sat in his truck singing and talking for what was probably hours. Then the song “She’s Everything” by Brad Paisley started playing and just as I was mentally thinking of how many times I’ve wanted a guy to feel like that about me he turns to me and says “this would be a great song to dance to” I ask “here?now?” and next thing I knew we were standing in an empty parking lot slow dancing, trying to ignore the train that was passing through, having our first kiss and I was falling hard. It literally seemed like a scene out of a movie and later as I retold the story to my friend Whitney, it earned him the nickname Nicholas Sparks…. Which later became Nicky-Bob after I bragged on how he’d cooked for me.. (a mix now between Bobby Flay and Nicholas Sparks)…

                That’s just the backstory.. that’s not the reason I feel God sent him to me. It’s been just over two months, and while yes, I know by most people’s standards two months isn’t long enough to even entertain ideas that this could be anything terribly serious, I already know it is and becomes more serious with each day. I’ve sat here for what seems like forever trying to think of how to say everything I want to say. It’s not that he does all these sweet things (although they’re definitely a bonus) it’s the way he makes me feel. I’ve made lists before of things I wanted in a guy and a relationship, in fact I found something I’d wrote just over a year ago about just that… but when friends would really question I would tell them it all boils down to the way he makes me feel. 

This guy makes me feel everything I’ve wanted to feel. I’ve never felt more respected, comfortable, supported, adored, challenged, admired, as if I’m a priority and completely happy.  I’m not expected to be anything but myself and that is such an amazing feeling. This guy has already went through some rough and stressful times with me. I’ve had high stress levels due to work and school and then added stress of family issues  and he’s been my shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. I’ve opened up to him more than I would have ever imagined I would have at this point. I find myself wanting to share every tiny detail of my life with him and if I’m having a bad day just a hug from him makes me feel as though a weight of my problems disappear. I’ve often heard people say you should marry your best friend, and that idea was pretty foreign to me... but the more I spend time with him the more I realize it is possible that he could possibly become not only my boyfriend, but also my best friend. I’ve also never felt that I have to question anything with him. I don’t question his intentions, his feelings, and there are absolutely no trust issues. I feel he is completely genuine even when he’s saying all these kind, sweet things that I would usually roll my eyes at. He makes me want to be a better person and to be the best me I can be.

This is the guy who can give me a hug and a kiss on the forehead when I’m stressed and instantly I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted. This is the guy who tells me I’m a good person and that to me means more than telling me I’m pretty… but I don’t get tired of hearing him tell me I’m beautiful either. This is the guy who I find myself smiling when I look at him, even when he’s not looking because he truly makes me that happy.This is the guy who quotes scripture to me when I’m  really struggling with something. This is the guy who turns to me one night and assures me that he’d never do anything to hurt me, and I honestly believe it. This is the guy who looks at me another night and says “do you know what comes to my mind when I think of you?”  and though I expected some pretty words about how pretty or smart or kind I was instead he quotes James 1:17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow or turning”. This guy feels as though I’m good and perfect (for him) and a gift from God. As we continued that conversation he admitted to me that he feels as though I’m “an answer to his prayers” that he too had spent years praying for God to send him someone, that he used to pray for his future wife, but since becoming involved with me he now prays for ME and I believe this because so many times I’ve asked him to pray for me and he’s assured me that he’d already prayed before I even asked. And as crazy as it sounds I'd already found myself praying for him and as though he was an answer to MY prayers before he even mentioned that to me. 

Oh my goodness.. I could type all night and never be able to say all that I feel. Bottom line, this guy didn’t come into my life by accident and I have a very good feeling that he’ll be in my life for a long, long time. When you find someone who compliments your personality  so well, who understands you, who knows what you’re thinking before you ever open your mouth, who comforts you , who makes each day better , and whose actions make you feel more loved than you’ve ever felt before that’s when you know that he was brought into your life by someone who knows your every need better than you do.  I thank God every day for bringing him into my life...every single day.. 

Bloom..

"Bloom where you are planted"... This was a status update on my Facebook news feed. It struck a chord with me. You see a lot of times I find myself complaining about where I am in life or daydreaming of moving and how life will be so much better/exciting/more opportunities and such. The second I read that simple statement I realized that I wasn't allowing myself to fully bloom during THIS season of my life. I'm often holding back, pulling my "petals" in close not willing to open myself up, I stand in the shade instead of looking toward the sunshine. I'm not always allowing myself to be nurtured by the soil I'm currently planted in.
Yes, I'm living in a small town... but that doesn't mean I can't bloom into a bigger, better person. I may have to work 2 jobs right now, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be thankful for and make the most of the free time I have. I've lost some friends over the past couple years, but that doesn't mean I should stop tending to the friendships I have now.
"Bloom where you are planted"... a good reminder for me to make the best of life in all areas, to keep dreaming, keep striving, keep LIVING a full life. It doesn't matter what happens in life, the world deserves to see an Ali who's vibrant, colorful,strong yet delicate, and thriving no matter if I spend days in the shade and am rooted in rocky soil.

30 by 30 list...

This past summer I wrote a 30 by 30 list (30 things I want to do before I turn 30) and then I forgot all about it... While doing some Facebook stalking of my own profile I stumbled across it again. After reading through it I realized I had accomplished a few of the things on the list and that a few things weren't quite so important to me anymore... So I did what any list maker would do.. I revamped and rewrote it !

From today (2-21-12) I have 2 years, 7 months, and 1 day to mark all of this off! I'd better get busy!

1. Take a weekend roadtrip with no set destination

2. Kiss in the rain (DONE <3 )

3. Watch a sunrise from the top of a mountain

4. Get to my goal weight / fitness level and maintain

5. Visit 3 places on my travel list

6. Take a picture a day for 90 days (365 is too daunting for me)

7. Find a new hobby / skill that is useful (crocheting, blanket making, etc)

8. Use above mentioned skill to help others (donate blankets to needy, etc)

9. Go to a drive in movie

10. Run several (5) 5ks. (color run, warrior dash, tough mudder,….. )

11. Try Zumba class (DONE)

12. Do a Trash the Dress session

13. Start volunteering on a regular basis

14. Move J

15. Try spinning class

16. Learn to cook 5 dishes REALLY well

17. Decide on my next career move (DONE)

18. Either be in that career or be actively pursuing it (Working on it)

19. Have my debt paid off (other than student loans)

20. Not be working 2-3 jobs (DONE)

21. Trace my ancestry 

22. Go to (at least) 5 concerts (in progress.. 2 down)

23. Participate in a fundraising/awareness event for a cause (breast cancer, cancer, diabetes, etc)

24. Take a long weekend camping trip and ban any technology (phones, etc)

25. Watch people karaoke (very much doubt I’d sing)

26. Learn to ride a horse

27. Plant and maintain a flower bed/garden (DONE)

28. Sponsor 2 animals at an animal shelter and adopt at least 1

29. Take a dance class (line dance, ballroom dance, etc)

30. Walk along the beach at sunrise

Oh Snow!

Oh snow! My area is getting hit with our first "real" snow of this winter.... I always love the snow (not driving in it though). If you're a Gilmore Girls fan like I am you'll understand this "I can smell the snow!".. For real, there have been times in the past that I've literally uttered those words. There's something peaceful and serene about the snow. The way it clings to the tree branches is one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. Currently my desire to stay warm and dry is overcoming my urge to go outside and take pictures.. I will post some pictures from last year's snow, it looks almost identical to this year's.
The first real snow of the season always makes me nostalgic. In the past my mom would always call me the second the snow started because she knew I'd want to rush to a window to watch and if I was home we'd have hot chocolate and I'd look out over the back of the couch to watch the snow for hours. Then I became an adult and slowly that tradition died.
More than anything the first snow reminds me of my Granny J who passed away 11 years ago. She loved the snow as much as I do and though we weren't real close while I was growing up (living hours apart and only visiting on holidays didn't help us bond much) I still miss her so much. I always associate snow with her and find myself looking back and remembering the good times we shared and wondering what she'd think of the person I am today. Sometimes family members will tell me I remind them of her and honestly it makes me proud because what I remember about her was that she was kind, strong willed, independent, successful, and beautiful. There truly was no other woman like Rosalie Jackson...

A reason, A season, or a lifetime....

Years ago, while going through a very difficult time in my life someone shared with me the idea that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. This simple phrase has become a large part of my life since then... I truly do believe that all people (and even events) happen in your life for a reason and those people and/or events are either their for a season or a lifetime. The people that leave our lives were only meant to be there for a short time, most likely because we needed them or they had something to teach us but they weren't meant to be a permanent fixture in our lives. This is perhaps the hardest thing I've learned, so many times I've sat and questioned why someone would disappear from my life and why certain things have happened.
This blog with often have an underlying theme of my evaluating and reflecting on why certain people are in my life and why certain events happen.
Let's talk about some of the people in my life and what they've brought or taught .....
There's my dear friend in Miami who after 20 years of friendship and long bouts of little contact is still one I know I can call on when I need to talk or need advice. She's taught me that you can overcome obstacles in your life, are stronger than you realize, and that it's not the end of the world to let loose sometimes or to voice your opinion. She's strong willed, intelligent, and kind hearted. I've learned that friends don't need to talk every day or live next door in order to remain friends.
There's Aly T who came into my life at a time when I was struggling with having a husband who was deployed, then she stood next to me (while hundreds of miles away) as I dealt with a divorce.She helped me realized I deserved more and that I was stronger than I thought. She taught me that it was okay to guard myself but that I needed to be willing to let love back in again, she taught me to always look toward the sun in my darkest days, she taught me that you don't have to meet someone in person first to have a strong friendship. Aly T is no doubt going to be in my life for a lifetime. This lady came into my life for a reason... because I needed that person I could call at 3 am, I needed someone willing to call 30 times a day , I needed that best friend who could literally tell by the way I answered the phone that I indeed was not ok even if I tried to say I was. I needed that friend who laughed with me when something funny actually happened, who encouraged me to find something I was passionate about and to reach for my dreams. I needed that best friend, the sister I'd never had..and she was brought into my life when I needed her most... 5 years later and she's still all of those things.. her living in Japan makes things difficult but this season won't last forever...

There's J who though we went to high school together it wasn't until 2009 that she came into my life as a close friend. She was there as I was learning how to function "riding solo" and she taught me how to have fun again. We were in a similar season of life at the time and it seemed to bond us. She taught me that kindness and genuine goodness still exists in the world. She reminded me that I have a lot to be thankful for and that a smile is the easiest way to brighten someones day. She taught me that true friends invest in each other's lives, she taught me you don't have to be blood to be family. Then she went and got married on me and seeing her marriage she's showed me that a good, happy, equal marriage is possible and that sometimes love really does come at unexpected times. She taught me that sometimes life events happen quicker than you expect but those are sometimes the biggest blessings. And her beautiful daughter has already taught me that I can be completely in love with a child who isn't mine.


Oh my goodness I still have people to share with you, those "lifetime" people who've came into my life for a reason.. but it's 11:30p.m... I'm tired.... and I work in the morning... Expect a continuation of this later...and of course I'll dish some about the people who's seasons in my life have expired and what I've learned from them....

A little about me...

Most of you that are reading this most likely already know me... but for those of you who may not here's the basics : I work a lot, I live a lot, I over think things, I laugh a lot, I'm silly but sometimes too serious, I'm happy but reflective, I ALWAYS have songs in my head and I'm known to start dancing randomly. I'm not much of a writer but I always have something to talk about.
This is my 3rd attempt at keeping a blog. With some encouragement and pushing from friends along with a crazy desire to be a blogger I'm trying this again. I have friends who want to keep up with my life and who knows maybe I'll touch someone's life who I've never met. Or I may just annoy people. LOL.
I have a feeling I'll have a lot to write about as I'm starting a new season in my life. I have just started my first Master's degree class and though already stressed I'm looking forward to the career opportunities I will have shortly. I have just moved back home. I have lost some people in my life and I've gained some people as well. My life is boring sometimes but it's usually pretty crazy too so my posts may be random a lot.